How Can Your Marriage Survive Despite Your Cheating Spouse
Your cheating spouse might have thrown up a huge roadblock for your marriage but it doesn't have to send your marriage completely off course. In other words, you really can make your marriage work even if your spouse has cheated on you. But how do you make it work when all you really want to do is kick your cheating spouse to the curb?
Learn to put yourself in your spouse's shoes. No matter what you think your spouse is thinking when you really put yourself in his or her shoes you'll find out things are not as they seem. Take a little time to try to see things from his or her eyes and you'll be amazed by how different they look. This sort of empathy isn't easy and it may lead you to realize some things you don't want to see about yourself. For the sake of your marriage though there are few more effective tools that will help you figure out what is wrong and work to avoid finding yourself in the same place in the future.
Set goals for your marriage. Even if they are small baby step goals for the time being having the goals is a huge step in the right direction for the sake of your marriage. Your cheating spouse may not have even realized that part of the problem as a distinct lack of planning and investment in the marriage. Once you master goal setting you can move on to making those goals happen. But sitting down, discussing the future, and setting goals together - as a couple - is a definite boon for your effort to save your marriage.
Talk about your problems. So few couples sit down and do this. They talk at the problems, around the problems, and about everything but the problems. You need to sit down and discuss them openly and with as little passion as possible. It's the emotional connection to the problems that makes them so volatile. You need to remove the explosiveness from the situation and talk about the problems at times when you aren't waging war in the living room.
Learning how to let your partner know what you need can be a huge boost to your marriage. Be open with one another and communicate small problems in a non-confrontational manner before they become big problems. You also have to be able to tell your spouse, in a way that doesn't seem judgmental about the things that are problematic for you. Learning to do this will save your marriage endless hours of argument and equally many hours of ice-cold silence.
Learn to put yourself in your spouse's shoes. No matter what you think your spouse is thinking when you really put yourself in his or her shoes you'll find out things are not as they seem. Take a little time to try to see things from his or her eyes and you'll be amazed by how different they look. This sort of empathy isn't easy and it may lead you to realize some things you don't want to see about yourself. For the sake of your marriage though there are few more effective tools that will help you figure out what is wrong and work to avoid finding yourself in the same place in the future.
Set goals for your marriage. Even if they are small baby step goals for the time being having the goals is a huge step in the right direction for the sake of your marriage. Your cheating spouse may not have even realized that part of the problem as a distinct lack of planning and investment in the marriage. Once you master goal setting you can move on to making those goals happen. But sitting down, discussing the future, and setting goals together - as a couple - is a definite boon for your effort to save your marriage.
Talk about your problems. So few couples sit down and do this. They talk at the problems, around the problems, and about everything but the problems. You need to sit down and discuss them openly and with as little passion as possible. It's the emotional connection to the problems that makes them so volatile. You need to remove the explosiveness from the situation and talk about the problems at times when you aren't waging war in the living room.
Learning how to let your partner know what you need can be a huge boost to your marriage. Be open with one another and communicate small problems in a non-confrontational manner before they become big problems. You also have to be able to tell your spouse, in a way that doesn't seem judgmental about the things that are problematic for you. Learning to do this will save your marriage endless hours of argument and equally many hours of ice-cold silence.
About the Author:
Don't think it has to be over just because your spouse got caught cheating. It is up to you whether you want to get your ex husband back or leave your marriage in ashes. If you want to make it work, this is the first step you need to take to make that happen: http://www.magicofmakingup.com.
